DEEP DIVE (Guest post, open to all): Thank U, 2024—Next
Optionality advisor Minaa B on closing out the year with self-reflection and growth.
Optionality advisor Minaa B has launched a new media company that speaks to one of my favorite areas of interest: Bridging pop culture, music, and personal healing. By exploring art and entertainment as forms of healthy escapism, I’m So Mature uncovers how cultural moments can guide us through growth, self-discovery, and emotional maturity.
Subscribe to I’m So Mature to get her insights as both a licensed social worker with over a decade of experience as a therapist and a pop culture maven in your inbox. Read on, and you’ll see why you need I’m So Mature in your life! -Elisa
As we prepare to turn the page on another year, there's no better anthem to guide us into 2025 than Ariana Grande's catchy hit, Thank U, Next. The lyrics offer profound wisdom about healing, self-compassion, and personal transformation, highlighting the importance of embracing life's ups and downs, learning from the past, and staying hopeful for what lies ahead.
The end of the year can bring a plethora of emotions. It’s often a time when we ruminate on dreams that didn’t materialize, tally losses from the past twelve months, or grieve unanswered prayers. Yet, it’s also a time to fill our journal pages with aspirations—affirming who we are, discerning what to carry forward into the new year, and deciding what to leave behind. While the promise of a fresh start in the new year is a beautiful idea, remember that every day—whether in January or June—is an opportunity to achieve your desires.
Instead of focusing on unfulfilled goals, what if we saw the end of the year as the closing of one chapter and the start of another? Even though time is not truly linear, the end of the year marks the end of a season. It’s a moment that invites us to pause, reflect, and recenter ourselves.
Imagine walking into a Barnes & Noble and being captivated by an enticing book cover. You pick it up, read the back cover description, and decide to take a chance—investing hours in someone else's words. As you progress through the chapters, you feel a sense of accomplishment as the ending draws near. When you reach the final chapter, you must accept that this story is complete, and it's time to find your next read. This transition can bring anxiety. Will the next book be as engaging? Will it stir your emotions and leave you wanting more? Can you trust it will be worth your time, or will it disappoint—perhaps even leaving you hanging for a sequel?
The only way to know is to reach for a new book from the shelves. You must trust that it will be just as captivating as the last—or perhaps even better. Though you can't predict how these new words will transform your heart, you choose to take that chance. You brace yourself for the journey ahead while cherishing the books that came before and the lasting impressions they left.
Life is like a bookstore, filled with countless themes and genres that can transport us to new dimensions, places, and journeys. As we navigate this bookstore called life, we find ourselves picking up new material while setting aside the books we've already read and experienced. Each time we return a book to the shelf, it becomes an opportunity to say "Thank U, Next"—to be grateful for the experiences that book taught us and the lessons we've learned from it.
Before diving into the key themes of Thank U, Next and how they can inspire us to close out the year with purpose, I want to explore why the end of the year, or endings in general, often feels so difficult.
Welcome to our monthly Deep Dive. Usually a Premium Subscriber benefit, this month we’ve opened it to all in order to introduce you to Minaa’s work and new company. Explore the other benefits that come with Optionality Premium membership here.
Why the End of the Year Can Feel Hard
1. Anticipatory Anxiety
The end of something often marks the beginning of something new, which can stir up feelings of anxiety. Anxiety is a state of fear and worry, often triggered by uncertainty and things outside of our control. As we approach the end of the year, the unknowns of the future can lead to stress, chronic fear, or a sense of overwhelm about what lies ahead.
2. Grief and Loss
The close of the year can bring up feelings of grief and loss, especially if there are goals you haven’t accomplished or dreams that feel deferred. It can also be particularly challenging if you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one. As we prepare to step into a new year, it might feel like you’re leaving them behind or entering a new chapter without their presence, which can evoke deep sadness.
3. Pressure and Perfectionism
The end of the year often comes with immense pressure to wrap up unfinished business, hit milestones, and celebrate accomplishments. There’s a societal push to end the year on a high note, which can fuel perfectionist tendencies. This pressure can make us feel like we must justify our year with a big success story, leaving little room for grace or acceptance of what we’ve achieved at our own pace.
Luckily, there are tools you can utilize to help you overcome the complicated feelings endings bring up for you, and here are five key themes from Thank U, Next that can guide us through periods of transition and change.
Five key themes to guide you
1. Self-Compassion: Embracing the Journey
One taught me love
One taught me patience
And one taught me pain
Now, I'm so amazing
Say I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
So, look what I got
Look at what you taught me
And for that, I say, Thank you, next (next)
–Ariana Grande, Thank U, Next
Ariana reflects on her past relationships not with bitterness but with gratitude, highlighting the concept of self-compassion. Psychologist Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a close friend.
“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” –Kristin Neff
As you reflect on 2024, consider the mistakes, missteps, or heartbreaks you’ve experienced. Instead of judging yourself harshly, ask:
What did this teach me about myself?
How can I grow from this experience?
Replacing self-criticism with curiosity and care creates space to move forward with confidence and ease.
2. Lessons Learned: Growth Through Reflection
The lyric, “I’ve loved, and I’ve lost, but that’s not what I see,” reminds us of the importance of reframing. Every experience, even painful ones, holds valuable lessons. This is known in psychology as post-traumatic growth, the idea that adversity can lead to profound personal development.
Take a moment to journal or meditate on this question:
What did 2024 teach me about love, resilience, or my own inner strength?
Growth isn’t about erasing the past but finding meaning in it, even when it’s messy.
3. The Power of Self-Love
I met someone else
We're havin' better discussions
I know they say I move on too fast
But this one gon' last
'Cause her name is Ari
And I'm so good with that
–Ariana Grande, Thank U, Next
These lyrics are the most iconic lines in the song. This declaration of self-love is a powerful reminder that the longest relationship we’ll ever have is the one that we have with ourselves. Learning to value yourself isn’t selfish—it’s foundational in order to heal, grow and evolve.
Psychologist Carl Rogers spoke about unconditional positive regard, which means accepting yourself fully, flaws and all. Building self-love requires nurturing your relationship with yourself through small, intentional acts:
Practicing daily affirmations (e.g., “I am enough just as I am”).
Setting boundaries that protect your peace, time, and energy.
Investing time in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
As you plan for 2025, consider how you’ll prioritize your well-being and nurture the relationship you have with yourself.
4. Continuing to Dream: Hope for the Future
One day I'll walk down the aisle
Holding hands with my mama
I'll be thanking my dad
'Cause she grew from the drama
– Ariana Grande, Thank U, Next
In Thank U, Next, Ariana optimistically looks to the future despite the uncertainty of what’s to come. This forward-thinking mindset aligns with the psychological concept of hope theory, which emphasizes the ability to set goals, develop pathways to achieve them, and sustain the motivation to keep going.
Dreaming is an act of courage, especially when the past has been challenging. It requires trust in your ability to adapt, grow, and create new opportunities. Ask yourself:
What dreams do I want to carry into 2025?
How can I take one small step toward those dreams today?
5. Gratitude: A New Perspective
I've learned from the pain (pain)
I turned out amazing (turned out amazing)
– Ariana Grande, Thank U, Next
Despite heartbreak, Ariana’s appreciation for her exes reflects the transformative power of practicing gratitude. Research shows that gratitude rewires the brain, enhancing resilience, improving relationships, and boosting overall happiness.
As you reflect on 2024, make a list of people, experiences, or lessons you’re thankful for, even if they came in unexpected or challenging forms. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of life—it’s about acknowledging the full spectrum of your journey, honoring the lessons that come from hardship, and appreciating the good instead of always focusing on what isn’t going right.
Your 2024 Closing Ritual
To help you close out the year with clarity and intention, try this simple exercise:
1. Reflect: Write down three lessons you learned in 2024.
2. Release: Identify one thing you’re ready to let go of (e.g., self-doubt, regret, toxic relationships).
3. Recommit: Set one intention for how you’ll nurture your self-love in 2025.
Thank U, 2024–Next: Moving Forward with Grace
As we say goodbye to 2024, let’s carry forward the essence of Thank U, Next. Let’s thank the experiences that shaped us, embrace ourselves with compassion, and dream boldly about what’s to come. Life may not unfold perfectly, but with emotional maturity, gratitude, and self-love, we can navigate its ups and downs with grace.
In the words of Ariana, “I’m so amazing… I’ve loved, I’ve lost, and I’ve learned.” That’s a mantra worth living by as we step into a brand-new year.
Here’s to, 2025, and all the ways we’ll continue to heal, grow and evolve.
Thanks for sharing your work with the Optionality community,
Now back over to all of you: Is there a song or quote from a movie to TV show that has provided you with a guiding principle of your own?Save the date! The second Optionality IRL event is coming Wednesday, February 26, 2025, in Oakland, CA. The Topic: Pivots….the process of prepping for them and pulling them off. Several of our community members are in various staged of significant pivots, and they’ll be on hand to walk through the decision-making process, the mindset adjustment, and the practical considerations of making a big move.
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