14 Comments

This was so powerful and honest to read. I loved it!

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Right Molly? The stories so many people don't tell because they can't withstand the repercussions. And yet if we don't speak, how will things change???

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You can't tell me that this happens at non-American companies. I know this company you cited is an international one, but I wonder if the culture you experienced is the same overseas (maybe, when they are dealing with their American counterparts). In American work culture, we venerate the busyness, the competitiveness, the lack of balance. The good news is that younger workers, as a whole, are recalibrating the culture and prioritizing differently. But maybe not before some of us get used up.

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I will say this: Some of the worst behavior came from colleagues abroad, and also some of the most compassionate. I think, though, both types of behaviors were reactions to our work culture here in the U.S. Some joined the pile-on because they thought (correctly), this is how I will get by at this company. And others quietly supported me from the sidelines. We kept it on the down-low ;)

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I don't know. In my corporate days I worked with many people from other offices, or who came from overseas and worked at the company HQ, and, as one example, the whole screaming rage-ful emotional man thing was something I witnessed on the regular from people who were definitely channeling more than American culture. Normally I would be curious about whether Jory's experience was gendered at this big company, but I know there were equally miserable and mistreated men there, so in this case maybe not.

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20 years ago, it was pretty much the same in Japan — if not worse. I have no idea what it's like now.

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There was some rather mainstream pop culture attention paid to Japan's workplace culture and its focus on efficiency 20+ years ago...so, yeah,I wonder what it's like now.

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I was just there on holiday but didn't walk into an office. I saw more women in suits on the subway. Yeah, people there still wear suits ... but a lot of the ties have come off. "Salaryman" is still a thing, I know that.

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Heh, that reminds me of the culture shock I have when I go to DC...so many people still wear suits, men and women. I've even seen, gasp!, pantyhose!

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My fav Japan business story is how employees got the window cubicle if they were deemed lazy or useless ... because they have time to stare out the window.

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You made it! A tough journey, but you found the way

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Indeed, Gail! I made it out beat up, but better.

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"So I started doubling down on things I could control, hoping to succeed in the areas I couldn’t." Oh, I have definitely been in this position. How many of us have sucked it up and tried to fix it or made excuses because we felt like we should have been grateful for that job? Hindsight sure is 20/20.

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I think many of us default to grinning and bearing it. It's a much more accepted practice. No one wants to be seen as a quitter. But I think our collective grit has nasty consequences in excess.

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