I had to go look at my LI profile to remind myself of what I've let go of:
1. No, I do not have the year I graduated college there.
2. I took off my first career some time ago...I spent 7 years in the commodities industry!
3. I probably *should* let go of the 7 years I spent in traditional high tech product management/product marketing. I've kind of consolidated those years into one entry about doing that function in the telecom industry. I think I hang on to it because I really loved the *work* of doing product management and marketing. I really love thinking about everything I make as a product...events are a product, community is a product...and applying those principles to their development and growth. But probably this literal product experience from 20 years ago isn't that meaningful anymore?
I ended a podcast I loved doing! After 5 years, I just felt I wasn't learning anything new anymore and I wanted to go out before the audience felt the same. I still miss the conversations the podcast enabled me to have, but have not once regretted the choice to end it when I did. It made space for new pursuits.
Interesting. I'm mulling over what to do with my personal newsletter and podcast in 2024...do I keep them both? Lose one? Lose both? Change frequency? I might lose doing the podcast on another platform, and just record occasional audio or video messages attached to my personal substack. That might cut down on the time and effort. I'm mulling.
Have you channeled the personal expression part of it elsewhere?
Yes! I started a monthly newsletter the next month so that's about to celebrate its second birthday. For now, that scratches the creative itch (and reaches many of my podcast listeners, so I feel like I haven't lost the listening community that I loved so much.)
And I've opted to keep the podcast archive available for now - the messages were evergreen and I worked too hard on it and talked to too many interesting people to just lose that! I'm kind of astounded how many people still find it...
Wait, can you clarify? Did you used to fill your calendar/to-do list because you used to think that was what working was, and you measured your success by how "busy" you were?
Or did you quit working on something that was filling your calendar/to-do list, so you could focus on something else, like your writing?
Inquiring minds want to know, because feeling free and open sounds LOVELY.
I filled my calendar because I didn’t really know any other way of working. I didn’t know what my options were outside of busyness. I have been working for so long it became my mental conditioning. I’m finally learning to reset my brain and teach myself a new habit which is I don’t have to work this hard and the things I feel anxious about will get handled. That’s the part that feels freeing!
Whoa. I need to sit with this for a while. My calendar has definitely been less packed these last few months, because I've been focusing on this one project vs. others. And I do think I've been feeling anxiety about the blank spaces in my calendar, instead of feeling freed by it.
I totally understand. I’m in disbelief every time I look at my calendar. I’m not used to this much downtime but I know I deserve and *need* this downtime.
Dec 5, 2023Liked by Elisa Camahort Page, Jory Des Jardins
Great questions, Elisa. I've been thinking about them all day. I've let go of wanting to be "a somebody" and replaced it with wanting to be "a happybody."
Dec 6, 2023Liked by Elisa Camahort Page, Jory Des Jardins
I’m (starting to? in the process of?) letting go of thinking I need to work full-time. also, related, of finding the next big hill to climb, the next big accomplishment. With the last third of my life staring me down, I just don't want work to be
1. I've let go of the first 10 years of work experience on my CV.
2. I've let go of saying an instant "yes" when asked to do something that I would have formerly seen as flattering - "you want me?"
3. I've let go of my immediate response to "what to you do" being how I earn my living and instead sharing my interest i.e. I'm a trustee, I practice and teach mindfulness etc. Not trying to bore but repositioning.
4. I've let go of saying "I was the X of Y company" (subtext I used to be important). I don't care.
OMG I love every single one of these. One of my former colleagues, The Cru founder Tiffany Dufu, often leads with her mission when someone asks her what she does. Like, "I was put on this planet to advance women and girls," before launching into what she *does* and I love that too.
1. Check. 2. Half-check. My knee jerk is to think about it, even if I know the answer will be no. 3. Check--though I need a more concise way of saying, "Working on such and such passion project, and for this company, and on this idea..." like I need to mention every single one of my work children. 4. Yep. Bravo.
Sorry to rain on the parade ... but don't MEN list all their wonderful "ex" jobs forever... (never their actual "ex's" by the way unless their rich, hot, young and famous) but seriously, if we are going to work in their world, do we do ourselves any favors by underselling ourselves?
I remember when I was working myself through grad school in NYC as a part-time legal secretary, seeing the PARTNER EMERITUS of the law firm where I worked, who looked close to 100 years old and everyone knew he was practically blind and deaf, but he was still promoting himself as a well-connected senior partner!
Later I worked in sales and as a CEO -- very male worlds and believe me, no guys wanted to "undersell" themselves.
I'm not really sure this is true. I see lots of men drop off years of experience, even if it's good experience...they seem to be as motivated as any of us to not be perceived as old. And I don't know if it equals "underselling" to make our headline (which is of limited character count after all) reflect a bunch of stuff we have no desire to sell. Isn't it a waste of our time to feature such experience, even if impressive, in our elevator speech if people reportedly only pay attention for mere seconds?
I let go of my start up and officially shut it down. It was a very freeing feeling and I was at peace with the decision. Or so I thought, because recently the feeling of missing everything about it hit me like a tone of bricks. So maybe I just needed a break and a reset, maybe it's time to take my ling list of lessons leaned and try something else.
Personal wise, I've been doing a lot of internal work and letting go of things left and right. Working through things and processing. It's hard work but it's making me a better person.
I wonder if the "everything about it" is stuff that can only be obtained via running your own thing, or if it's stuff that can be obtained in the right kind of job at the right kind of company.
I let go of a co-founder last year and I finally shut down my first startup.
Oof, those are both BIG things to let go of!
I had to go look at my LI profile to remind myself of what I've let go of:
1. No, I do not have the year I graduated college there.
2. I took off my first career some time ago...I spent 7 years in the commodities industry!
3. I probably *should* let go of the 7 years I spent in traditional high tech product management/product marketing. I've kind of consolidated those years into one entry about doing that function in the telecom industry. I think I hang on to it because I really loved the *work* of doing product management and marketing. I really love thinking about everything I make as a product...events are a product, community is a product...and applying those principles to their development and growth. But probably this literal product experience from 20 years ago isn't that meaningful anymore?
and also - that I’m going to read all the books I’ve bought! Not gonna happen.
Oh god. Do I have to let go of that??? #theTBRstruggleisreal
I ended a podcast I loved doing! After 5 years, I just felt I wasn't learning anything new anymore and I wanted to go out before the audience felt the same. I still miss the conversations the podcast enabled me to have, but have not once regretted the choice to end it when I did. It made space for new pursuits.
Interesting. I'm mulling over what to do with my personal newsletter and podcast in 2024...do I keep them both? Lose one? Lose both? Change frequency? I might lose doing the podcast on another platform, and just record occasional audio or video messages attached to my personal substack. That might cut down on the time and effort. I'm mulling.
Have you channeled the personal expression part of it elsewhere?
Yes! I started a monthly newsletter the next month so that's about to celebrate its second birthday. For now, that scratches the creative itch (and reaches many of my podcast listeners, so I feel like I haven't lost the listening community that I loved so much.)
And I've opted to keep the podcast archive available for now - the messages were evergreen and I worked too hard on it and talked to too many interesting people to just lose that! I'm kind of astounded how many people still find it...
Thanks for sharing...good and timely food for thought for me :)
I am a fan of this newsletter. I loved Midlife Mixtape but I don't feel I'm missing out on Nancy with the newsletter.
I let go of working and filling my calendar with things to do and people to meet. I feel so free and open as a result!
Wait, can you clarify? Did you used to fill your calendar/to-do list because you used to think that was what working was, and you measured your success by how "busy" you were?
Or did you quit working on something that was filling your calendar/to-do list, so you could focus on something else, like your writing?
Inquiring minds want to know, because feeling free and open sounds LOVELY.
I filled my calendar because I didn’t really know any other way of working. I didn’t know what my options were outside of busyness. I have been working for so long it became my mental conditioning. I’m finally learning to reset my brain and teach myself a new habit which is I don’t have to work this hard and the things I feel anxious about will get handled. That’s the part that feels freeing!
Whoa. I need to sit with this for a while. My calendar has definitely been less packed these last few months, because I've been focusing on this one project vs. others. And I do think I've been feeling anxiety about the blank spaces in my calendar, instead of feeling freed by it.
I totally understand. I’m in disbelief every time I look at my calendar. I’m not used to this much downtime but I know I deserve and *need* this downtime.
🙌🏼
Minaa this is quotable: I don’t have to work this hard and the things I feel anxious about will get handled. Maybe I should make this my mantra.
Great questions, Elisa. I've been thinking about them all day. I've let go of wanting to be "a somebody" and replaced it with wanting to be "a happybody."
That’s deep Britt.
It’s been a heck of a year!
I’m (starting to? in the process of?) letting go of thinking I need to work full-time. also, related, of finding the next big hill to climb, the next big accomplishment. With the last third of my life staring me down, I just don't want work to be
what defines this next part of my journey.
I’m right there with you.
1. I've let go of the first 10 years of work experience on my CV.
2. I've let go of saying an instant "yes" when asked to do something that I would have formerly seen as flattering - "you want me?"
3. I've let go of my immediate response to "what to you do" being how I earn my living and instead sharing my interest i.e. I'm a trustee, I practice and teach mindfulness etc. Not trying to bore but repositioning.
4. I've let go of saying "I was the X of Y company" (subtext I used to be important). I don't care.
OMG I love every single one of these. One of my former colleagues, The Cru founder Tiffany Dufu, often leads with her mission when someone asks her what she does. Like, "I was put on this planet to advance women and girls," before launching into what she *does* and I love that too.
1. Check. 2. Half-check. My knee jerk is to think about it, even if I know the answer will be no. 3. Check--though I need a more concise way of saying, "Working on such and such passion project, and for this company, and on this idea..." like I need to mention every single one of my work children. 4. Yep. Bravo.
Sorry to rain on the parade ... but don't MEN list all their wonderful "ex" jobs forever... (never their actual "ex's" by the way unless their rich, hot, young and famous) but seriously, if we are going to work in their world, do we do ourselves any favors by underselling ourselves?
I remember when I was working myself through grad school in NYC as a part-time legal secretary, seeing the PARTNER EMERITUS of the law firm where I worked, who looked close to 100 years old and everyone knew he was practically blind and deaf, but he was still promoting himself as a well-connected senior partner!
Later I worked in sales and as a CEO -- very male worlds and believe me, no guys wanted to "undersell" themselves.
I'm not really sure this is true. I see lots of men drop off years of experience, even if it's good experience...they seem to be as motivated as any of us to not be perceived as old. And I don't know if it equals "underselling" to make our headline (which is of limited character count after all) reflect a bunch of stuff we have no desire to sell. Isn't it a waste of our time to feature such experience, even if impressive, in our elevator speech if people reportedly only pay attention for mere seconds?
I let go of my start up and officially shut it down. It was a very freeing feeling and I was at peace with the decision. Or so I thought, because recently the feeling of missing everything about it hit me like a tone of bricks. So maybe I just needed a break and a reset, maybe it's time to take my ling list of lessons leaned and try something else.
Personal wise, I've been doing a lot of internal work and letting go of things left and right. Working through things and processing. It's hard work but it's making me a better person.
I wonder if the "everything about it" is stuff that can only be obtained via running your own thing, or if it's stuff that can be obtained in the right kind of job at the right kind of company.