1. My friends in my 20’s came from work, housemates, and outside interests (e.g. writing class).
2. If I scan today through my recent texts list, 4 are friends I met through work in my 20's and 4 are friends I met through work in my 30's. Maybe the only difference between friends I met through work and other friends is that we still share similar work interests and aspirations.
3. I love making friends in the workplace! For me, it is what makes work fun. Most places that I have worked either as staff or as a long-term contractor I have made friends. I agree that it is harder to become friends with someone when it’s virtual because you don’t have the down time that happens when you’re in an office whether it’s between chatting between meetings, having lunch, collaborating on a project, going to a work event outside of the office, or chit chatting at 3:30 in the afternoon when your brain needs a break. When I think of friends I’ve made from virtual contract jobs later in life, it’s usually because 1. We collaborated / chatted weekly on a project, 2. We extended our virtual 1-on-1 meetings to talk about personal stuff because we enjoyed chatting, and 3. There was eventually an opportunity to meet in person.
You have fun answers :) I realized when talking about this with Jory that I've really always worked at relatively small companies. Those fashion designers in my 20s employed fewer than a dozen people in NY. The two small businesses I worked for in the commodities industry were super small...fewer than 8 employees. Even when I got into tech I worked at companies with employees in the low hundreds, not thousands. I still have friends from both those companies, and then I still have many more friends from the BlogHer era, both co-workers and community members. But those were friendships with a big digital component from the outset.
I hung out almost exclusively with friends from work in my twenties, and I see my twenty-four-year-old niece doing the same thing. I think it's very easy at that time in your life because the free time amongst twentysomethings is fairly similar. As you get older, some people are coupled, some aren't, some have kids, some don't. I've found in my life that 80% of my relationships are ephemeral to the extent I do a lot with those people when our paths cross and don't when they don't. That said, the people I like, I like, which explains why I was so eager to come hang out with you and Jory and so many other BlogHers here again!
I am friendly with my co-workers now, but I try really hard not to cross the line to friends while we are working together because of a really bad experience I had getting promoted above people I had formerly been friends with. Now I keep a firm eye on my career goals and whether I could see that happening at my current company and try to stay friendly but enough aloof that if that happened, it wouldn't destroy any trust either way.
Oof, I had that happen once when I was promoted and became a friend's boss. He felt like it was a demotion for him, and in one sense he was right (how many steps away from the CEO basically increased). I had to work really hard to convince him it was going to be a good thing because I would have his back unlike his previous boss. But still, it was a challenge for a bit.
I wonder if my having that outside interest of theatre created a significant influx of people to befriend that a lot of 20-somethings don't have? So combined with working for small companies, it's reasonable that most of my friends were from outside work, not inside work.
It’s definitely important to find that balance between being friendly with coworkers and maintaining professional boundaries. Your approach sounds very wise, and it’s great that you’re prioritizing your career goals. Enjoy hanging out with your friends and BlogHers!
I have often thought I was lucky to keep one close friend from each major (mean multiple-years) workplace. My formative years were in television newsrooms where we worked crazy hours and were thrown together unwinding from intense deadline-driven work late at night or middle of the week!. While lives separated, those crowds have been happy to reconnect via Facebook decades later.
If I think about the corporate tech jobs I had during the dot com boom and bust years I do have a few friends I've sustained over the 20+ years since I exited the corporate world. I really value that we can still connect after all of our lives have changed so much!
What fun questions!
1. My friends in my 20’s came from work, housemates, and outside interests (e.g. writing class).
2. If I scan today through my recent texts list, 4 are friends I met through work in my 20's and 4 are friends I met through work in my 30's. Maybe the only difference between friends I met through work and other friends is that we still share similar work interests and aspirations.
3. I love making friends in the workplace! For me, it is what makes work fun. Most places that I have worked either as staff or as a long-term contractor I have made friends. I agree that it is harder to become friends with someone when it’s virtual because you don’t have the down time that happens when you’re in an office whether it’s between chatting between meetings, having lunch, collaborating on a project, going to a work event outside of the office, or chit chatting at 3:30 in the afternoon when your brain needs a break. When I think of friends I’ve made from virtual contract jobs later in life, it’s usually because 1. We collaborated / chatted weekly on a project, 2. We extended our virtual 1-on-1 meetings to talk about personal stuff because we enjoyed chatting, and 3. There was eventually an opportunity to meet in person.
You have fun answers :) I realized when talking about this with Jory that I've really always worked at relatively small companies. Those fashion designers in my 20s employed fewer than a dozen people in NY. The two small businesses I worked for in the commodities industry were super small...fewer than 8 employees. Even when I got into tech I worked at companies with employees in the low hundreds, not thousands. I still have friends from both those companies, and then I still have many more friends from the BlogHer era, both co-workers and community members. But those were friendships with a big digital component from the outset.
I hung out almost exclusively with friends from work in my twenties, and I see my twenty-four-year-old niece doing the same thing. I think it's very easy at that time in your life because the free time amongst twentysomethings is fairly similar. As you get older, some people are coupled, some aren't, some have kids, some don't. I've found in my life that 80% of my relationships are ephemeral to the extent I do a lot with those people when our paths cross and don't when they don't. That said, the people I like, I like, which explains why I was so eager to come hang out with you and Jory and so many other BlogHers here again!
I am friendly with my co-workers now, but I try really hard not to cross the line to friends while we are working together because of a really bad experience I had getting promoted above people I had formerly been friends with. Now I keep a firm eye on my career goals and whether I could see that happening at my current company and try to stay friendly but enough aloof that if that happened, it wouldn't destroy any trust either way.
Oof, I had that happen once when I was promoted and became a friend's boss. He felt like it was a demotion for him, and in one sense he was right (how many steps away from the CEO basically increased). I had to work really hard to convince him it was going to be a good thing because I would have his back unlike his previous boss. But still, it was a challenge for a bit.
I wonder if my having that outside interest of theatre created a significant influx of people to befriend that a lot of 20-somethings don't have? So combined with working for small companies, it's reasonable that most of my friends were from outside work, not inside work.
It’s definitely important to find that balance between being friendly with coworkers and maintaining professional boundaries. Your approach sounds very wise, and it’s great that you’re prioritizing your career goals. Enjoy hanging out with your friends and BlogHers!
I have often thought I was lucky to keep one close friend from each major (mean multiple-years) workplace. My formative years were in television newsrooms where we worked crazy hours and were thrown together unwinding from intense deadline-driven work late at night or middle of the week!. While lives separated, those crowds have been happy to reconnect via Facebook decades later.
If I think about the corporate tech jobs I had during the dot com boom and bust years I do have a few friends I've sustained over the 20+ years since I exited the corporate world. I really value that we can still connect after all of our lives have changed so much!